The Ropes that Bind
by fierysuzaku
Summary: This took place after Byakuran's defeat, and how Gokudera reacted to his boss' choice, making him question the binds that hold them.


Silence.

He breathed in the tranquil atmosphere, relishing in the familiar sensations of comfort envelop him. Light jade eyes surveyed the room, landing upon the white piano standing solitarily amidst the strangely vacant area. The décor was simple, tell tale signs of European architecture with hints of oriental influences here and there. From the bonsai perched upon the wooden table to the unmistakable sakura pattern etched upon the cushions positioned over the only couch utilized by those for conversations or by simply listening to him as he played a piece.

The lack of furnishings was basically due to the fact this room was his. It was his private sanctuary where he could be free and be himself. Away from the formalities and responsibilities, it was just him and the music. The rest of the Family is always careful whenever they enter this room. In fact, that's how he could distinguish the differences between a subordinate tasked to look for him and _his_ family.

His family would just knock and enter. No announcements or warnings except for those few knocks that managed to catch him. The rest wait for his confirmation before they dare go pass those wide oak doors, for this was his threshold, despite it fully belonging to the Familigia, it was already established that this was his the moment he dared to play the piano his sister sent him from their old home.

It was the first time he played in years, he could remember his hesitance and fear – wondering if he still could play like he used to. However, he also remembered the joy and freedom when his long elegant fingers landed upon the ivory and ebony keys.

The music never changed, it always held a piece of magic that would always enrapture him into unknown realms of release and contentment.

One could almost say it was his first love.

If it was possible, he'll play forever.

Perhaps, if he wasn't connected to the mafia or haven't met his boss he'd be a pianist like his mother. The thought brought out a pang of hurt, he had long reconciled with his father – maybe his younger self would move it to an earlier date considering Bianchi gave him the letters five years earlier than she should have – but he couldn't help but imagine the possibilities if she accepted him or that a cure was found.

A sigh escaped him, despite it all, he doesn't regret meeting Sawada Tsunayoshi. He does not regret a single moment he spent with his Tenth.

Every conversation.

Every smile.

Every tear.

Every touch.

Every kiss.

He'll cherish them forever.

In fact, he craved for them. The day Tsuna 'died' was like being sent into the deepest darkest pits of hell. If it wasn't for the others trying to piece him back together, he wouldn't even be functional.

_Damn, I actually owe those two idiots big time._ A small smile laced his lips, in spite of their own grievances Ryohei and Yamamoto disregarded them – albeit for a short while – to help him deal with his own.

How easy it was for his smile to transform into a frown as the memory of a certain Cloud Guardian came, his fists clenched unconsciously in bitterness.

He was the right hand.

It should have been _him_ who knew of the plan.

_Would you actually let him? _A questioning thought surfaced, stiffening him as he begrudgingly admitted that he won't allow such an attempt to take place.

_You're far too selfish for that._

He is mind might consider but his heart was a whole different matter.

"I'm a failure as a right hand. My boss can't even count on me to be objective in making a decision." He said, glancing at the keys that splayed before him. He came here to think, music always helps him think. The others may not know it but he often listens to music whenever he was stuck in the lab developing his Sistema CAI or just plain thinking.

That's why he often carries a pair of wireless earphones whenever he goes on a 'trip'.

So he played.

His fingers played across the keys skilful as a familiar melody formed like a nicely woven spell.

He thought.

His mind wandered within the realms of reason and passion, ever debating.

He decided.

* * *

_Moonlight Sonata._

He concluded as old memories began to take over.

"_**S-Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He stuttered, a red bloom spread over his cheeks as he mentally clocked himself on the head for walking in the room without a mere warning.**_

"_**No. It's fine. This **_**is**_** the Vongola Castle and you **_**are**_** the Vongola Decimo. So as far as I can see, I there's nothing wrong with you freely walking into a room." assured the right hand with rare smile only he and few of the Family had seen.**_

"_**It still doesn't excuse me. I knew there was someone in here and I just entered." he said, the blush not fading one bit as he met a pair of beautiful two toned orbs of silver and green.**_

"_**I don't mind, Tsuna. In fact, you don't have to knock, just enter if you want." Sighed Hayato, only to watch his boss stutter in retort making him chuckle a bit, he always found it adorable when his beloved would act like bumbling teenager and vice versa.**_

_**They both knew it.**_

_**They just won't admit it openly because both would blush madly like fresh red roses when they're reminded more than a little of the secret moments they formed behind the Family.**_

_We were so awkward, both trying to confess and at the same time hesitating at the brink of it all. _he smiled at the memory briefly cutting off his walk down memory lane.

"_**B-But – "**_

"_**It doesn't hurt as I thought it would be. I actually like playing again." The sudden shift of topic surprised him, Hayato's mother was always sensitive topic, even between them, despite the reconciliation, and it still left a wound within the man that would take more than time to mend.**_

"_**I always saw this room empty, so I was kinda curious why there was piano music coming from it, before I knew it I just barged in." as he spoke the words, he did not miss the visible hint of sadness marring the jade depths.**_

_**Even though Gokudera spoke in a lighter tone, he knows him – hyper intuition or not – enough to know what his lover is truly feeling.**_

"_**Yeah, I bet it was because you thought it was some animal in pain." jeered the other, yet the dark hue did not leave his eyes.**_

"_**What are you talking about? It was beautiful!"responded automatically disputing the early claim, he always disliked it when the other would put himself down.**_

**You're better than you think you are Hayato why can't you see that? **_**The chocolate orbs darkened in thought as he waited for Gokudera to continue.**_

"_**I'm not as good as I used to be. I haven't played a piano since today. I'm really rusty." his lover confessed, breaking eye contact but not before Tsuna could note the regret and pain in his eyes.**_

"_**If that was rusty, then I can't wait to hear you when you start warming up to playing again." he commented, wearing a rather dubious look.**_

"_**Again?" confusion was a clear reply as their gazes met once more.**_

"_**You are going to continue playing right? Unless of course you prefer to do it alone I understand." The last sentence came to a much lower tone, he really wants him to play again but he can't force him if he had decided not to.**_

**If it hurts him too much I won't push him. **_**He affirmed in resolution, after all, it was not his choice to make.**_

"_**No. It would be an honor to play for you Tenth." **_

_**The reply made him smile but the look of brightness set against those lovely depths was enough to send his heart pounding. **_

"_**What did I say about using titles when we're alone Hayato." he reprimanded, glad of the now lightened atmosphere.**_

"_**Old habits die hard, sorry Tsuna." He grinned, turning his back once more as he resumed the halted melody.**_

"_**So what's the song called?"Tsuna asked curiously, watching those long pale fingers danced across the instrument effortlessly.**_

"_**Moonlight Sonata." he replied, mirroring a smile Tsuna didn't know he was currently wearing.**_

The memory filled melody echoed through the halls, he came closer, to the room where he was sure to find the skilled pianist.

"Hayato."

It was mere whisper.

Yet full of longing – it has been a while since they've been together – he couldn't help the hint of guilt that lined the tone, their last night was the night before his plan took place.

They were enough, he was heard, the soulful medley stopped with an awkward pause as the player turned to meet him.

Chocking silence came in its wake.

He saw the man face, gray green depths meeting his pained gaze.

"Yes, boss."

Clipped.

Cold.

So unlike the warmth and joy that highlighted the words.

He feared for this.

"Tsuna." He corrected in reflex, almost regretting it when he saw the once swirling tempests remain to be still.

_He's mad._ He felt something in him clench. Ever since his awakening after Byakuran's defeat he couldn't help but sense that something was eerily out of place.

There were smiles and laughter.

He was even rewarded with a familiar smack on the head by Reborn and a sharp punch from the former prefect saying he owes him a real fight.

However, he felt a certain strain of frustration emitted by his right hand.

_Something's wrong. _He concluded as he met those strangely cool eyes once more.

"Talk to me." He said, the underlining tone of uncertainty laced the words, he couldn't help it, and something in him was screaming and clawing at him, telling him of an impending blow.

"What do you want me to say?" the words were cold, the type of tone he never thought to receive from the bomber.

_I forgot how intimidating he can be._ He couldn't help but remember the first time they've met and fought, even in anger those eyes burned with a hungry passion that scared the wits out of him. Now, he's seeing a side he never thought to be the receiving end of.

He felt like he was being dismissed.

_Is he really that angry?_ He debated within, as he took one more effort to coax out what's truly been wallowing within his lover's mind.

"Hayato, please." he was practically begging, he wants to see the old him again.

"I don't have anything to say Tenth." He informed coolly, Tsuna felt something in him broke when he saw those cold icy depths harden.

"Yes, you do! Stop pretending there isn't 'cause – " he exclaimed, stifling a probable sob from escaping his lips only to be cut off by the strange tone his right hand had somehow decided to use on him now.

_Even in negotiations, he isn't this formal._ He observed, his intuition warning him of a pending danger. The right hand was going to deliver a bomb, he could feel it in the air.

"A right hand is second in command for a reason. You think I'm mad because you didn't tell me your plan right? I already accepted that despite it all, it ends with the boss' choice. I trust your judgement. I know, to withdraw information from me would either mean it was out of sheer necessity or that you don't trust me enough – " he wasn't able to continue when Tsuna spoke up once more.

"I do trust you!" It was his turn to interrupt, if he was feeling pain earlier, now, he's painfully feeling betrayed and insulted.

_D-Did he really think? _He panicked in thought, for Gokudera to think that he doesn't trust him hurt a more than just a simple pin prick.

"I didn't say you didn't. Like I said I accept your decision. I wouldn't have allowed it if I knew." Gokudera shrugged at the words, his tone cold and flat making Tsuna wonder if he really knew Gokudera considering he never seemed to have met this side of his right hand.

He felt another twist in his gut, he felt like getting stab when he dared to look deeper into those eyes only to see them hold the distinctness of formality.

_Is this the price I had to pay? _His chest tightened further, he knew there were going to consequences, and one of them would be trying to regain the trust of his family. He was actually surprised to see them take his latest stunt like it was nothing, then again, may be he had underestimated their coping capabilities.

He expected _him_ to be the one to understand him more than others, yet as he looked into those strangely formal eyes he began to doubt about how much Hayato knows about him.

_I never thought that my intuition would actually be wrong. _He frowned bitterly, he was about to take leave when he caught a strike of emotion within the icy jade orbs making him hope more than he should.

He didn't turn.

Not yet.

"Tenth." It was familiar tone, soft and gruff under his voice.

It almost made his worries fade.

Almost.

_Tsuna. Call me Tsuna. _He mentally demanded, his fists clenching tightly, how much did he long to hear his name spoken through those lips.

Those deliciously sinful lips that made his knees buckle and muddled his head with a mixture of love and lust.

The memory burned within him, searing through him with its addicting heat.

He wants him.

"There's more. I could feel it." He said daring to meet those eyes, he saw them cloud with confusion while he tried to fight off the sudden wave of desire that momentarily captured him.

"Why would you think that?" said Gokudera as he stood from his seat and walked towards him.

He was near, he could feel himself react to his closeness as his breathing hitched and his heart pounded against his chest.

Hayato has that effect on him. The years together did nothing to lessen its potency.

"Tsuna. Is that what you want to hear?"

_Yes._

_No._

He felt his teeth clench tighter, he wanted to hear it but it sounded so _wrong_. It was strangely detached at some point that made him question if he only imagined all those nights when his name was whispered like a prayer. He wanted the warmth and gentleness not the cold nothingness that met him.

It frustrated him.

_Why is he doing this? _He pondered on, trying to understand the reason behind his lover's current cool treatment.

Numerous conclusions were supplied, ranging from common sense to sheer idiocy.

He was running out of composure.

He wanted nothing more than melt into those strong arms, something in him is still telling him that the right hand isn't mad at him, making him doubt himself all the more considering what he's currently seeing contradicted the very thought.

His intuition told him the other knew what he desired.

What he needed.

Yet, for some reason Hayato refused to give it to him.

It was like a tightly bound rope holding them back from each other.

_If he isn't mad. What the hell is wrong with him? _

_Think Tsuna. Think._ He told himself as he tired to recall and analyze the earlier parts of their conversation.

"_**A right hand is second in command for a reason." **_

"_**I trust your judgment." **_

"_**I wouldn't have allowed it if I knew." **_

He stopped.

Everything started becoming frighteningly clears as he came to his own conclusions.

"_**A right hand is second in command for a reason."**_ The words replayed, as looked to meet those eyes, his with indignant fire.

If there was one part of Gokudera he had to hate, it would be his continual conclusions of not being worthy whenever he failed to meet his own personal expectations on that he thinks a right hand should be.

_Why do you always think you failed me? You never failed me, how many times must I tell you this, Hayato._ He thought in exasperation.

"You didn't fail me. Just because I didn't tell you – " he felt something in him rise, almost akin to angry annoyance.

"THAT'S NOT IT!" Hayato snapped, surprising himself as well as his boss.

He _never_ snaps.

Yes, he snaps at everybody.

But _never_ at him.

NEVER.

"I know my limitations. I know the rules between our relationships. You're my boss, I'm your subordinate, and your word is law." He continued on, as if nothing happened, but for Tsuna, it sounded like he was intended on convincing himself as well, rather than his boss alone.

"I know my place boss." He finished softly, a tired sigh escaped him as his features softened revealing the person Tsuna has been waiting for.

"You know and I know that you're more than a subordinate, Hayato." He whispered, his hand cupped the silver guardian's face looking into those now gentle depths.

"That's just it." His eyes hardened slightly as he moved to hold the hand that cupped him trying not to give into its comforting and addicting warmth.

Taking a deep breath he spoke as lightly forced the hand down as let it go.

"I _can't_ be more than a subordinate."

The words sunk in.

Panic and realization struck.

Hard.

"No! Don't do this to me." He said as he clamped down on both of the bomber's hand, as if holding on tighter would stop the words he had feared.

_No. Please, Hayato. Don't. Don't end this._ He his eyes conveyed the message, he saw the stormy orbs flicker with pain but remained resolute.

_He thought this through._ He realized, adding more to the chaos within him.

"I'm still going to be your right hand. I'm not going anywhere." Said Gokudera, his tone remained hard but he hoped it would be enough.

"Please." Tsuna voiced, he watched the other mentally debate but the outcome wasn't what he hoped for.

Another thing about Hayato is that when he decides on something, he sticks to it like super glue. It was a trait Tsuna admired but right now he desperately wished that the Storm would be more pliant on changing his choices.

_You can't, I won't allow you. _His eyes glowed with determination, dowsing the stains of panic and fear.

As if reading his thoughts Hayato smiled.

"It's for the best. I- I can't be selfish." The sadness was there and so was the pain, but his resolution flared in equal to his.

_Selfish? _The word made him falter, he sought for clarification.

"I was angry. Jealousy even. For you to choose him over me hurt. To inform him over him. To include him over me. In the end, I knew I had no right to question your methods. But it still hurt." Gokudera confessed, emotions giving way completely shattering the cold mask.

"Then I won't do it again! Don't do this Hayato, please. I will tell you everything, just don't do this. I never meant to hurt you." He replied, fighting the tears while an inner voice spoke through him.

_Liar. You knew you'd hurt him. You just hoped that he would forgive you after._

At that moment, Tsuna realized it wasn't that Hayato didn't knew him enough, it was that he knew him too much that he could see through his reasons even before he does.

"That's just it. I shouldn't be hurt. If – If I was a proper right hand I would take it and nod. You made the right choice for not telling because I wasn't kidding when I said I won't let you go through it. You are my life."

_Hayato forgave me but he can't forgive himself for not being professional enough to earn a spot on my plans? _He concluded questioningly as he gave his own reply.

"Then why are you going to leave me? How could this be right when you know we'll both be hurt?" eyes narrow in challenge.

"Because you and I both know one of the main reasons I wouldn't approve of your plan was because of my feelings for you. Too much feelings cloud our minds, Tenth. Reborn-san has taught you that." He answered, trying to restore his cool façade, failing when Tsuna spoke his name once more, full of longing and love.

"Hayato."

Yet, despite it all, he remained unmoved.

"I'm not like you Tenth. I'm not the type of person who's willing enough to giving everything for the sake of everybody. Only for you and no one else." The last statement was soft, fading as it left his lips.

"And that's what makes me selfish. I want to have you for myself. So I have to stop this now before it continues 'cause I may not be able to stop myself anymore." He started strong and faded once more as he watched Tsuna observe him.

_Then don't stop._

It was an exaggeration, they both knew he too cared for the Family, but he's ready to give it all for him.

Something a boss could never do.

Family comes first.

Always.

Then, he realized why. His right hand understood the duties and responsibilities of a boss, something he usually forgets but unlike him, having been raised in the mafia made him know it by heart.

_He's doing this so I won't have trouble in trying not to personalize things. He's doing this because he thinks I can't give what he can offer._ He thought, tinges of anger within him churned as he looked at the man before him.

"It's what's best for the Family. You can't afford to have an overemotional right hand. The only way for me to function properly is if we place our relationship on a lighter and more professional level." He said in methodical manner that made a part of Tsuna seethe.

He wasn't angry because it was some false assumption.

No.

He was angry because it was true, he is the boss and he should not be bothered by personal matters that may harm the Family.

"So this is your way of not being selfish?" his tone was sharp, Gokudera didn't even flinch as he merely nodded in reply.

"Then I'm sorry, because I won't let you go. Because – " he said, closing the distance even further, near enough to whisper into his lover's ear and say.

" I'm too selfish to do that."

Gokudera stiffened at the words.

_I don't care anymore. I don't care, whether it's not the Family or not. Because just this once I'm going to be selfish. _

"I want to do this. I want you regardless of the consequences. I want us to forget. Be selfish even in this little piece of our lives, because we deserve that much." He continued on whispering, his voice roughened with desire as he took a whiff of gunpowder and cigarettes.

"T-Tenth." It a petty attempt to squash his personal yearnings, something Tsuna won't allow to take root.

"Tsuna." He corrected once more, cutting off his protests with a kiss.

Passion surged through them, Tsuna's hands weaved through the silky silver strands as he was encased in his strong embrace.

A perfect fit.

He wanted more.

He gripped harder, pulling himself closer as he allowed himself to be consumed in lust's heady spell.

He wants this to never end, he heard himself whimper at the loss when Gokudera pulled away.

They were panting, deep blushes stained their cheeks.

"I may not be able to stop. I may forget the line that divides us. I-I can't lose my place." It was going to be his last attempt, they both knew it, if he really wanted to stop he would have left the moment their kiss stopped, not continue to hold him with the foreheads slightly touching and their warm breaths mingling, intoxicating them further into the wild haze of hungry desire.

"I don't want you to. You're my right hand, where else can you be but by my side." He replied, leaning into another kiss.

"You may regret." He said, their lips barely touching.

"I don't. I won't. So make me yours."

They kiss again, the fires within them turned ablaze, burning the bonds that held them.

They burned with every touch, sending them into a state of oneness and euphoria.

Nothing held them back.

It was just the two of them.

Nothing else mattered.

* * *

Warmth.

He breathed in, trying to steady his pounding heart. His light jade eyes fall upon the sleeping figure beside him, he relished upon his warmth, his embrace. The familiar sensations of comfort and love envelop him. He continued gaze upon him, soft features far too angelic to fit the look of a stereotypical mafia boss, spiky brown hair matted with sweat. He shifted slightly, wondering if he should replace the couch with a bigger one considering their size, they may be lean but their still grown men.

He felt something tighten, he looked down and saw Tsuna moved closer to snuggle, the action carried a possessiveness he had not fail to notice.

It made him smile.

There was silence, only their steadied breaths were heard.

He let out a sigh, his cupped his cheek, his thumb tracing the smoothness of his skin.

His lover leaned into the touch.

He couldn't help but recall the events that played.

Every kiss.

Every touch.

Every embrace.

Every cry of release.

It defeated the greatest of symphonies.

Yes, music was his first love, therefore it shall always live within him.

However, the man he held in his arms is his true love, therefore he shall never leave him.

_I will forever stay with you, Tsuna. I'm never going let you go. _

_Not now._

_Not ever. _

_You're mine._

It was possessive and selfish.

He knew it, but he doesn't care. Not anymore.

He leaned in, placing a chaste kiss upon his sleeping angel's lips.

"Ti amo, Hayato Gokudera." Tsuna murmured in his sleep.

"Aishteru, Sawada Tsunayoshi." He replied in turn, placing another kiss upon his lover's brow.

* * *

**-END-**

**A/N: ***hides in deep hole* How was it? I wanted to do a fic on their TYL versions so decided on this. It was kinda hard considering there isn't much on their future versions. This is for **dreamgirl96**, a prize and in response to her request for a GokuTsuna moment. I hope I managed to deliver the fic you wanted. Thanks for reading and please review.

**P.S. **I know I should be working on my fic **Changes** but I couldn't leave this plot bunny alone. Why do I have a feeling I'm forgetting something? *ponders in deep thought* Oh, right. I don't own Reborn. TT^TT


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